[Rejuvenation]

Oh, I LOVE how the Lord works to rejuvenate a tired and weak heart!!

School stresses me out sooo much that I can let it take over my concentration and focus on things that matter SO INFINITELY MUCH MORE than SCHOOL!!!! (Or work, for that matter....or things that I hear, but don't want to  hear, but can't control....)

I'm confident He will help me graduate this summer as long as I do my part. He will give me strength. So now, I can sit back and relax and focus on the Lord in the mornings and move everything else out of my mind while I'm on a date with Him. 
I've realized I've been trying to learn how to be a "good" or "better" wife for my husband....but how can that happen if I'm consumed with only that, and my heart is not full of Christ's love?
When that is full, I can overflow that love onto those around me, INCLUDING my hubby, whom I love more and more everyday.

I FINALLY picked up my bible study book I bought at the Women's retreat at last spring, written by Kris Goertzen. 
I think I might get some Ginger Millemon music to go with my studies in the mornings...

Anyway, the study is called, the "Extreme Spiritual Makeover"! I'm only in day 3 and loving it. It came with audio CD's for each week, and I just found some accompaning videos on her site.

So... needless to say I needed it. Bad.
My soul was dry and thirsty.

What would I do without my One True Love?

::LJ::

[For all you married folk...]

Welp,
God gave me the answers to my struggles in the form of devos this morning.

:)

Gen. 3:16b
"“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
        in pain you shall bring forth children.
    Your desire shall be for your husband,
        and he shall rule over you.”"


I'm mainly looking at that last part about the woman's desire for her husband.
Now, I've always understood that that phrase it talking about a woman's desire to "rule" over, or to be the leader of things in her home, rather than being submissive to her husbands authority.
Both roles can get distorted though, and its all because of sin and its desire for us!!

This is an exeerpt from the ESV study bible's footnotes on this verse, it definately got my attention this morning:

" 'Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.' These words from the Lord indicate that there will be an ongoing struggle between the woman and the man for leadership in the marriage relationship. The leadership role of the husband and the complementary relationship between husband and wife that were ordained by God before the fall have now been deeply damaged and distorted by sin. This especially takes the form of inordinate desire (on the part of the wife) and domineering rule (on the part of the husband).
The Hebrew term here translated “desire” (teshuqah) is rarely found in the OT. But it appears again in 4:7, in a statement that closely parallels 3:16—that is, where the Lord says to Cain, just before Cain's murder of his brother, that sin's “desire is for you” (i.e., to master Cain), and that Cain must “rule over it” (which he immediately fails to do, by murdering his brother, as seen in 4:8).
Similarly, the ongoing result of Adam and Eve's original sin of rebellion against God will have disastrous consequences for their relationship: (1) Eve will have the sinful “desire” to oppose Adam and to assert leadership over him, reversing God's plan for Adam's leadership in marriage.
But (2) Adam will also abandon his God-given, pre-fall role of leading, guarding, and caring for his wife, replacing this with his own sinful, distorted desire to “rule” over Eve. Thus one of the most tragic results of Adam and Eve's rebellion against God is an ongoing, damaging conflict between husband and wife in marriage, driven by the sinful behavior of both in rebellion against their respective God-given roles and responsibilities in marriage."



Yikes.

Like I said, I think and am pretty sure we even studied this topic in our premarital counseling, but I think I definately need to read this passage a lot more often in my devos to keep my mind focused on the truth, and to keep myself in check about where my heart is at in relation to my husband and his authority over me.

I love him so much, and I am realizing more and more at how much he can see that love by the respect and submission I give to him. :)


Welp, thats my profound findings for today folks, until next time....

*lj*

[Hidden]

You know those days, where you feel like someone else crawled into your skin and made you do and think things you would never normally do? Kinda like Bilbo in The Lord of the rings...when he goes from this....

to this...

Yeah.
I do, and it makes me feel like the worst wife Ben wouldn't have wanted if he knew I was a grinch sometimes.

I just let my emotion and anger sometimes flood out everything else and its like I can't see clearly, I can't take over my own self. I just sort of want to explode and disappear into thin air all at the same time!
I can positively say I have NOT mastered being a wife yet. *said sarcastically*
Haha!
Of COURSE I haven't mastered it! In fact, I feel like I'm going backwards, after days like yesterday.
It's a constant struggle to keep my thoughts where they should be, and to not be so controlling. Which, was sort of built into me. The fact that I was super independent growing up, and then lived on my own for such a while before getting married makes letting go of making decisions on my own very difficult.

I keep telling myself exactly what to do, and the thoughts cross my mind that I might be doing things wrong, but when it comes time to put that lesson into action...*dundunDUN!!!* .....It never happens. Go figure!

I get excited at the idea of having kids someday soon, but the fact that I can't be perfectly submissive to my husband as God commands us wives makes me think I'm crazy. I can't have kids if I'm a dysfunctional wife!!! What am I thinking??

Yeah, I know...no one's perfect, but for goodness sake we've got to get a routine, and I've got to get my heart and emotions under control.
I know what I need to do though. Ben constantly reminds me the only way we'll get better is to look to our real motivation...to be like Christ.

It's days like this where we've talked, he's encouraged me, and we've completely forgiven each other that I can say I am truly blessed by my husband. He's even given me a new chance to show submission and respect again this morning, and this time, I'm not going to fail!
I love you Benjamin Michael Jung!!

[Decompartmentalizing....]

So, God is Good.

Despite how CRAZY this week has been....God is good, and He has used it all for my good.

This last week when I felt the sickest with my cold/horrible sinus pressure/upset stomach... I couldn't find anyone to sub for me and had to get through an 8hr. shift at work. The funny part is what Ben had challenged me with that morning before he left...

He told me not to think of my days as getting from one thing to the next, one task to the next, or one job finished to the next.... Instead of dreading the 8 hours of have to stand on my feet, he wanted me to look at it as just a part of my whole entire day, as just one big continuum. He said that we in America think too much in compartments. Not willing to just look at every part of our day as another second to rejoice in the Lord. And so, he of course brought up Phil. 4:4. "Rejoice in the Lord", (when?)..."ALWAYS!! " ( I don't know how much I've quoted that verse on here....haha!)

I think....well, scratch that... I know that God allowed me to work that shift despite feeling so gross that day. As I worked and as we got busier into the night, I had so much to do that my mind seemed to get off of how miserable I felt and wondering whether or not I was going to keep that food in my stomach or not. Not everything you want goes your way.
Not everyday will you feel your best, but God still wants us to glorify Him in our words, actions, and deeds.
I did learn to invest my time into those around me: my coworkers, my customers, my job and how well I did it...
I did learn that God doesn't always answer your prayers the way you want them, and that we must trust that He knows what is best for us, after all...He is our creator, and our Father, and He knows. Ben always encourages me with that thought as well. (also Ps. 139).

I am so thankful for my husband. He is such an encourager to me, spiritually and emotionally... and he always takes such good care of me, especially when I'm feeling sick. :)

Here's a picture from our 1yr. anniversary trip to Devils Den State Park, in Fayetteville Ar. I have had so much picture editing to do for my photo business I haven't had time to post any of these on facebook or anything like that, but this is probably my favorite shot from the whole vacation on our hike :

Until next time,
Much love from the Jung house :)

BAH!


Why do I feel like I can't connect with anyone outside my family!!!
Why do I feel like no one even wants to do the same with me??

Am I just a scary/un-happy/un-inviting looking kind of girl?? I don't bite! I promise!

Why can't I have an deep, intelligible conversations?
Why can't I talk about anything more than, "hi, how ya doing? Great! Cool me too!" kinda conversations??

Am I tired right now? Yes.
Stressed about the stupid test this tuesday in a class I JUST had a test in last week? Yes.

So you'd probably do well to just ignore this post anyway.
*sigh*
I'm just

Until next time--
LJ

[Seeing in a New Light]

Wow.
The theme of the past few days would have to be "constructive criticisms".
And after today, I think God allowed two different circumstances, involving 2 different sets of people in 2 different spectrums of my life come together in sort of "one theme".
I think God had to use some serious things in my life to get me to see clearly, and to understand what He's probably been trying to communicate to me for a long time.
*gulp*

That I'm really...really...prideful.

I have had to swallow it down lately, and suck it up, and realize it was for my own good.
But its like, suddenly, yesterday, the light bulb went on!!! I was failing to realize that God CAN use other people outside of my church to teach me something HE wants me to LEARN!!! *DUUUHHH!*

Okay, so I get it Lord, I know. You got me.
I'm proud.

Maybe it's been whats blocking my mind from opening up and getting to know people at work?
I don't know...but after a good 30 day review with Beth, (our owner), and Amber, our manager, it was kind of like the last thing I needed to hear to get me to click stufff over in my brain. Basically, I just felt like hugging everyone. haha!

So, I decided in my mind to "do everything as unto the Lord, and not unto men" (Col. 3:17) to "rejoice always" (Phil. 4:4) and "I can do all things through him who strengthens me. "
(Philippians 4:13)
I CAN make certain choices to not let my mind think things that aren't any of those qualifications in
1 Cor. 13. 
So I did. And you know what? It was amazing!!! All I had to do, was take my thoughts captive to obey Christ. (1 Cor. 10:5)


Anyway. I just read a bunch of Colossians, which is probably my next fav. book of the bible right after Philippians. :)

For now though, its time to get some photo research done in preparation for the wedding coming up on Sunday!
Then off to work, and then, a date night!!!
Can you tell I'm excited?? ;)

Soli Deo Gloria,
Leah

[tired eyes.]

...When it rains, it pours.

Lord, I need your help!! I'm not strong enough to handle any of this on my own. I need you, and I yet I feel so far from you.
I've got to figure out how to manage a crazy schedule so devotions keep getting pushed aside! 4hrs. of sleep for half a week doesn't do much help either :/

Prayers!!!