Another Post :)

Hello again, digital journal on the internet!

Do you sometimes ever get the feeling you have some really, really deep stuff on your mind and heart, but aren't exactly sure what it is, or how to put it in words even?

Thats what the last few days have been like. I'm sure it's a culmination of a lot of things, but a few things stick in my mind.
I think it mainly has to do with the process of continual sanctification through my marriage.

Ben and I, (probably like many other couples,) have a schedule where we live in a pretty constant pattern, day in...and day out. Some weeks go by where we have done nothing new or different. Which is fine really, we don't necessarily need to always be doing something, and the routine is good for us.

We usually always get along, doing what needs to be done, and collapsing in bed by the end of each day.
But then there are those days.....

The ones where something different and unexpected happens, and suddenly one says something to the other that gets taken wrongly and the other responds in frustration which causes the first to suddenly speak in anger. And then? Chaos.

Yep. I will be the first to admit, we have our moments when we perfectly put on display the fact that we aren't perfect, we're sinners, and we desperately need the help of One who is perfect.

Sometimes, it takes us a little longer than it should to sort out the differences, figure out what went wrong, and speak what we were really trying to say, (or what we were expecting the other to automatically know....guilty!)

Though I in no way condone arguing with your spouse, or letting feelings get hurt, or being upset, etc....when the ash settles after we've come out on the other side of an argument, I always feel like I learned something huge about my husband, or that we end up having some of the best conversation we've had in a long time. A type of conversation that just doesn't exist in the daily grind of life....he works, I cook, he has meetings, I change diapers, go to bed, repeat. You know?

Okay, so our life really isn't that mundane, but at times it feels like we're doing the same thing over and over. So when we do have these conversations, it's like a huge breathe of fresh air.
Each time, I gain more and more respect for my husband.

Sometimes, it's so hard for us wives to know exactly what they do at work, what they go through, how they are so mentally challenged every day.
This last week, we had several good conversations after we resolved an argument that in a weird way, I was almost glad it happened.

Ben told me things about his job and what he's been learning in life that just made me feel so inferior, but not in a bad way....more of a "and Sarah called him lord" kind of way. I was humbled by the fact that he's always given more jobs in a day than he can technically handle, and has to learn to finish them and own each job anyway. His bosses expect them done, and he has to stay so mentally focused for each task to get them all done by their deadlines. Not only does the idea of staying focused apply to his job, but to his work as a deacon in our church as well.

He's learning how to apply so many new things to all areas of his life. Combating the urge to be lazy (though he's never been!), learning to stay on top of all of the things life brings his way, and always coming out on the other side with either a finished job/task, or having a really, really good reason to push the deadlines back, etc.

I have to admit, when I get bogged down with multiple tasks in life, I get stressed and almost collapse under the "pressure" and lose focus all-together. Ben works with massive engineering problems and so many jobs at once I'm sure I would be fired after two days. However, his perseverance and willingness to learn has paid off. He really has met and overcome so many challenges in the past short year of working at his new job, and I couldn't be prouder or have more respect for him.

It's really wonderful when you finally "click" and have a series of conversations that really, truly, help you understand each other in a whole new way.

So, in a round about way, the moral of the story, and the thing I'm probably trying to so un-eloquently say is:
*Though we are imperfect sinners, I'm thankful that God uses even our downfalls to sanctify us, and to make us better people/spouses/children of God.
*I'm extremely thankful for my husband who puts up with me  ;)
* Ben and I are thankful that God is teaching us that despite how different we are as two persons, we can use those differences to be a wonderful team to serve Him and the church together.
*Communication is important :) (yes, Ben, I said it!!)

Until next time,
Much love from the Jung house.