9.02.2010

[much needed rant flowing from probably too much emotion...]

I am so sick of this world. I hate it. The sinful world that is....
We're called not to fall into its ways, to hate the sin in it, yet to love the people and have compassion just like Jesus did. My music appreciation teacher decided to show a movie that had "greaaat" music in it (it was a type of musical), but was FULL of half...no...barely dressed, provocative looking women....during the WHOLE half of the movie. Not only was I embarrassed, but I felt incredibly sorry for the men in that room. If my husband were in that room I would have escorted him out immediately!!!
I'm tired of the lust, and relationships-gone-wrong, failing marriages, hate, envy, pride, and everything else that goes along with the sinful nature, and this ever dying earth we're on.
I find getting along with/loving people hard sometimes. Very hard. I've let so many things clog my mind lately. Probably mostly my own useless worries and insecurity with all these new surroundings (work, school, etc.)
I'm not like any of the other girls at work, or at least, that's the way I see it, (Is it bad that I'm not a super social butterfly??) and I'm trying to find ways to connect, have conversations, etc., but my efforts haven't seemed to do any good. I'm not good at this whole, "let's be best friends because we work together" thing, yet. In fact, I feel like things have been going backwards so far.
I love my job, but I'm still getting accustomed to what I have to do there/the expectations. It's been a challenge, it is definately much different than my old job, and much more demanding.
Basically, just recently I've had a couple occasions I could have just thrown down the towel and burst into tears....not to mention I missed church last week because of a work meeting, which, I think has thrown my whole entire week off. Not good. I need more time, especially with the Lord, and since school has started, I feel like that time has evaporated into thin air. I feel like I go to work and school and work and school and that's the end of it.
I also miss bike rides, quality time with my husband (which I finally got some tonight!!!), and a whole lotta other things.
I'm working, (and failing so far) at fixing my schedule to be a morning person and rise early to get some of that important stuff accomplished in the morning (aka...devo's) yet, staying up till 1 am to finish homework or editing pictures has sent my body into "pass-out-until-i-HAVE-to-get-up mode. "
Also not good.

I don't know how to fix all this right now, and my heart is heavy for no good reason, just SO much going on in life at the moment! I'm trying to swallow it all at once, but I had a good talk with my hubby, (aka, personal pastor!) tonight at a quick meet-up for dinner in between work and class, and he, as always, put some good truth into my heart. Mainly Romans 8:28.
Anyway, I better get some cleaning done before a certain someone gets home!

Until next time,
:LJ:

2 comments:

  1. Dear Leah, I must confirm your husband's passage to you and add verse 29...his desire is to conform us to the image of Christ. You just came back from a blessed conference. Perhaps satan is at work to get you off track from the things you learned as this woman shared God's word. The "world" behaves as it does because they belong to the "prince of this world." You are to be the light. Persevere through this trial. Remain steadfast. Work on getting your priorities in order: God, husband... Don't neglect His word. It is what will get you through as He speaks to you through it. Praying for you.

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